Murder & Mayhem Week: Day Seven

Top Ten Favorite Goosepimpleisms
by Amy Metz

The South is full of colorful people who use very colorful language. Not colorful as in cuss words, but in expressions. You can call them southern speak, south mouth, y’allbonics, or just plain colloquialisms, but I call them goosepimpleisms because the folks in my fictional town of Goose Pimple Junction, Tennessee have a blue million colorful expressions. A unique way of talking about the mundane, goosepimpleisms punctuates sentences with giggles. That is, they add spice and life to a conversation. This is my top ten favorite goosepimpleisms. How fluent are you in southern speak?

10. She looks like she made an ugly pie and ate every slice.
9. You can just get glad in the same pants you got mad in, missy.
8. You can put your boots in the oven – but that don’t make ’em biscuits.
7. We've howdied but we ain't shook yet.
6. It’s rainin’ so hard the animals are startin’ to pair up.
5. Well cut my legs off and call me Shorty!
4. He’s acting crazier than a sprayed roach.
3. She had a hissy fit with a tail on it.
2. I’m hangin’ in there like a hair in a biscuit.
1. Get your straw out of my Kool-Aid.

How many did you get right?
10. She’s really, really unattractive.
9. You better change your attitude right quick.
8. Just because you say it, doesn’t make it true.
7. We haven’t been formally introduced.
6. It is pouring down rain.
5. Well I’ll be darned!
4. He’s acting very strange.
3. She got really upset.
2. I’m hanging in there tough.
1. Mind your own business!